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The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been wildly successful. Successful to the point where DC clearly felt that it was time to try it's own hand at bringing the wider universe of it's superhero stable to the silver screen in a more comprehensive way. Enter Batman vs. Superman. Two of the biggest, baddest, most well known superheroes in the world duking it out head to head in an epic conflict for the ages.
Or at least that's what the trailers would have you believe. In actuality, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is a two and a half hour long trailer for the forthcoming title it so blatantly foreshadows (that being Justice League) interspersed with nonsensical dream sequences, clueless Lois Lane investigations, grating twitchy supervillain antics from Lex Luthor, and- most disappointing of all - Batman and Superman whining and snarling at each other like two schoolyard bullies fighting over who gets to shake down the last nerd for his milk money before recess is over.
As this review is meant to be spoiler free, I will try to avoid to many specifics. The main thrust of the movie is the unchecked power of Superman and the threat of what would happen if he were to lose his morality. This is shown in the grounds eye view of the terrifying battle between Zod and Superman from the Man of Steel. Similarly mirroring this is a grim, brooding Ben Affleck as Batman. This is an older Batman, one who is losing his fight (and if his dream sequences are anything to be go by), his sanity and possibly the last nobility that makes him a hero instead of just another vigilante. Batman decides Superman is a threat that must be stopped, Superman decides Batman is a civil rights violating vigilante that must be stopped- and then Lex Luthor shows up. I've never been a Jesse Eisenberg, but to be fair he isn't given much to work with here. His Lex is quirky, manic and a techy nerd. But his motivations come off as nonsensical. The same holds true for Ben Affleck. Batman's emotional range in this movie runs from "enraged and yelling" to "enraged and yelling while branding bad guys with the bat symbol" to "enraged and yelling ridiculous things at Superman such as "DO YOU BLEED?"".
Unfortunately, Henry Cavill is as wooden as ever in this movie. His Superman as well as his Clark Kent are merely ciphers with no real connection to the world around them. Jeremy Irons as Alfred is a weary bright spot in a weary movie, as is the one great cameo by Wonder Woman. This takes place at the end of the movie, and is actually a bit of a disappointment. After a truly awkward fight between Batman and Supes that I just wanted over as soon as it began thanks to director Zack Snyder's usual hamfisted and grainy filtered approach to combat, Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman shows up to a truly awesome theme song. Its a bright spot in the movie for sure, especially after the super slow mo, vasoline smeared look of the fight sequences. And the main problem with the fight sequences is that they exist in a kind of vacuum. The reasons for the brutality are so banal that its just uncomfortable for the viewer.
I think in the end, that uncomfortable perfectly describes the entirety of the opening steps of the DC Cinematic Universe. Its like watching a train wreck. A nonsensical plot, terrible writing that opposes well over half a century of established canon, not to mention basic personality traits of two of DC's most well known heroes and worst of all, the feeling that its all just a trailer for Justice League will leave you feeling by turns: awkward, faintly embarrased for the movie, bored, extremely uncomfortable, and finally glad that its over.
Batman vs. Superman- 2.5/10