If you are one of the millions of European WOW players, you may have heard of the new Warlords of Draenor expansion that dropped this week. Unfortunately, if you are one of the millions of European WOW players, you will also have experienced massive wait times that would test even the most experienced British queuer.

Alas, due to everyone wanting a piece of the action and DDOS attacks, my household has also fallen victim to the over-subscribed servers, with Lonesamurai twiddling his thumbs and clicking the ‘refresh’ button like it’s going out of style. In order to retain whatever sanity you may have left, I have put together a list of survival tactics, to be used in your time of need.

Step 1: Consider other Devices
Despite your undying need to explore Draenor, please be aware that other forms of entertainment exist and can be utilised to stave off the bloodlust. Halo for Xbox One has been a successful substitute for the Samurai of the house. Until he fell asleep with controller in-hand on the sofa, and that one time, mid-game when Xbox One decided to install an unwanted update. If one form of media is no longer enough, please consider turning on all electrical appliances in the house. TV, radio and even an alarm clock can trick your mind into believing you are amidst the most crowded raid your garrison has embarked upon.

Step 2: Other People
The thought of interacting with those outside the online world may be daunting, but persevere. You may discover a long-lost friend or spouse living in your home, and suddenly the source of that annoying background noise is explained. Mystery solved? Oh no, that list of chores is swiftly thrust in your face, and you can embark on a new adventure.
You may have also been fortunate enough to copulate with a member of the opposite sex. If so, chances dictate you are a parent, congratulations! Depending on the age of your offspring, they can be an infinite source of entertainment. From the small drunk person known as a toddler, to the stroppy teenager, a few choice words or a laser pointer will become your door to a new world of time-wasting. (These methods could also be employed in Step 3.) Who knew there was a world away from your desk?

This man does

Step 3: Escape to the Zoo
For whatever reason, you may discover aforementioned friend or spouse has left for greener pastures. Do not despair! Many humans share their private spaces with furry, scaled and hairy animal friends. Play can be a great bonding exercise for them and you, expanding your horizons and making you feel like the pack leader. (Unless you own a cat-then you are definitely the bitch in that relationship, believe me, I know). If your animal companion no longer functions or harbours a hatred towards you (again, I’m looking at cat owners), stuffed animals can also be a friendly alternative. Just be aware of open windows when you “do their voices”. Doctors can be really concerned about that sort of thing.

Step 4: Sustenance
Your main diet over the last few years is likely to consist of Doritos, chocolate, beer and Mountain Dew. Whilst these foods provide much needed vitamins and minerals, it may interest you to know that other flavours are available. For instance, right now, a wonderful creation known as ‘ice-cream’ may be lurking in the back of the freezer (above the big box that beer lives in). You could also try dusting off the old telephone and getting back in touch with your local take-away establishments. They will be pleased to hear from you, even though they thought you had died and sent pizza to your mother, in memory of their favourite customer.

Step 5: Porn
If you need instructions for this, you are too young to be on the interwebs.

Step 6: Acceptance
If none of the above have been successful, or you realise you are too morbidly obese to leave the desk, there is one fool proof method to pass the time. It is recommended this is used as only a last resort as you will look like a baby, and once it starts, you may be unable to stop;

By Scarlet Dragon

If you enjoy the Worms franchise of games, you might want to look at the Humble page today. Team17 have teamed up with Humble to offer a Worms bundle to raise some money for GamesAid. Fantastic!

For the next week you can pay what you want and get Worms, Worms Armageddon, Worms Ultimate Mayhem Deluxe, Worms Blast, Worms Pinball, Worms Crazygolf and two other games that aren’t Worms games: Superfrog HD and Alien Breed Trilogy.

Of course, there’s more if you’re willing to pay above certain levels. For $6 or more you will also receive Worms Revolution Gold, Worms Reloaded GOTY, Overruled! and Light; and $15 will also net you four copies of the latest entry into the Worms games: Worms: Clan Wars as well as a copy of Flockers, an indie game that Team17 have recently helped to publish.

Also, there are soundtracks up for offer too – so scurry over to Humble Bundle if you’re interested. I would be, the Worms games are wonderfully funny and tongue-in-cheek.

Riot’s been attempting to clean up the playerbase of their popular MOBA League of Legends in recent months, making sure that players who engage in unacceptable behaviour are punished. Now they’re beginning to work on the other side of the balance – making it worth your while to behave.

In what Riot are calling a “first step” they are giving a 4-win Influence Point boost to all players of the game who haven’t been suspended or had chat restriction applied to them during the 2014 season. This will be given out to the players who meet the criteria over the course of the next week.

Strangely despite the reputation, Riot’s notes say that 95 percent of players meet this criteria right now. It could mean that their attempts to tidy up the community is actually working. Even so, they’ve said that they are planning to start trying new systems to help tackle bad players soon.

“We’ve recently been focused on addressing extreme cases of verbal toxicity, and will soon be testing additional systems that address gameplay toxicity like leavers, AFKs, and intentional feeders.”

Well, one of the new Sonic Boom games is out and already people have encountered some bugs in the game. It’s mostly standard fare, up until you realise that hitting the right combinations of buttons then going to the pause menu can actually allow Knuckles to jump. Indefinitely.

Oh dear.

This actually allows you to skip past parts of the game if you desire, even some parts of the final boss fight. It’s also the sort of game-breaking bug that speedrunners often abuse to get through a game as fast as possible so for one part of the gaming community this bug is not bad but just a pathway they can use to complete their task.

Still, you wouldn’t think with that much body Knuckles would have retained his gliding abilities from past games… maybe it isn’t a bug after all.

Three more cards have been revealed for the upcoming Goblins vs Gnomes expansion for Hearthstone, due out sometime in December. They are as follows:

  Goblin Auto-Barber

Minion, 2 mana cost, 3 attack and 2 health. Battlecry gives equipped weapon +1 Attack.

  Goblin Sapper

Minion, 3 mana cost, 2 attack and 4 health. Has +4 attack while opponent’s hand is 6 cards or more.

  Illuminator

Minion, 3 mana cost, 2 attack and 4 health. Restores 4 health to your Hero if you control a Secret at the end of your turn.